Eat Me! A Celebrity Gift Guide To Unlock Your Inner Foodie!
December 6, 2009
EAT ME! It sounded like a great idea UNTIL…the response… It has been humbling and hobbling. A Celebrity Gift Guide all about food… Ok well someone had to taste all the submissions. Sound like fun? 10 pounds later….IT WAS!
I am a Foodie, I have slimmed down since puberty when I was a moving target in the cafeteria for flying tater tots…Yes as hard as it might be to believe (or maybe not)… I was not always this “Uber Cool” . In fact, I think the technical term is GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK and not much has changed. But, a lethal mix of treadmill and Botox has made me tolerable…
Enough about my past and the endless hours of therapy to overcome it! What are the celebs gifting and eating this year? Well…(FYI let’s call this PHASE ONE) as the amazing products just keep coming!
Even my HHBFF or (Hot Herculean Best Friend Forever) Kev Sorbo has likes to enjoy…Kevin will you please get fat and ugly SOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! Jeez!
Not soooo original, but when you look like my BFF Anton WHO CARES!
“I like to drink eggnog around the holidays” – Anton Kasabov (FYI- NEW BUZZ! – Anton is in the ubber fab movie Tekken based on the mega successful videogame. He also told me in a recent chit chat (he ate air I ate everything) about a his lead in a webisodes based on a Harlequin novel called ” Secret agent bride”
Jessica Hall – Host of The Morning After… Says “stuffing”? Now does she look like she is stands 10 fee from a carb??? Ok Jess what’s your secret
Goodies for the annoyingly healthy:
Remember those good ol’ cheese puffs – Calorie count 1 bagillion (researched by my trusty Assistant to the Stars – Gabrielle a.k.a. “Gaby do this”) Well for 120 calories and the taste of something that SHOULD be bad for ya’… The folks at Snikiddy (www.snikiddy.com) have come to the rescue with Mac n’ Cheese Puffs. Move over Velveeta these are mucho luscious. Don’t waste your time on the small bag… Think uber big!
Can a truffle be healthy? Who cares! I meeeeeeean YES! Leave it to the Foodies at NicoBella and indulge in a “VUFFLE” – Come on, figure it OUT!!!! A Vegan Truffle…. (www.nicobellaorganics.com)
“Think outside the cereal box” with Me & Goji – Custom cereals for the ubbie, boobie, healthy fruitie-tuttie… (www.meandgoji.com)
Plucked from the rare Zola beverage tree in the Brazilian Rainforest, Zola smoothies are harvested fully bottled… A rare find outside of Willy Wonka’s factory. Reality check, my tired attempt at humor. These smoothies use a blend of delicious and powerful Brazilian SUPER-FRUITS (is that a gay superhero?) to create smoothies that keep ya’ full of energy. My personal favorite… Berry Blend (Acai Berry and Banana) giving me extra energy to take on the universe. Tell them Josh sent ya and it won’t get you a damn thing but tell them anyway… (www.drinkzola.com)
My uber fab Assistant “The Gabster” was almost terminated for making derogatory statements about licorice…She has been warned. Thanks to Panda Soft Licorice for sending me one of my all time favorite foods. No Twizzlers™ for this guy, bring on the secret to this uber fab confection. The best all natural ingredients cooked in a traditional Finnish nature (not sure what that means… But who cares they taste great) (www.panda.fi)
What can be bad when you are gold, pink or fuchsia? Add to that an uber, UBER fab box filled with wine-pairing medallions and you have a truffle of the month club that could land the space shuttle. (www.ejconfections.com)
Deans Beans – “Great coffee making the world a better place…” Bring on the dark smoking blend of Ring of Fire…Can we say active volcanic soils???? (www.deansbeans.com)
Cocoa Canard – If I was a Drag Queen this would be my new (I mean first ever drag name)… The perfect gift for someone special who can’t resist a long line of collectible celebrity ducks … Note to uber fabs – AMAZING Belgium chocolate included. (www.cocoacanard.com) (www.celebriducks.com)
Naumes Fruit Gifts – This fresh fruit sent right to your door is a great to wash down all that chocolate, cake and cookies. But it does not stop there…This company will match your gift purchases pound for pound to feed food banks and hungry families across the country. (www.naumesfruitgifts.com)What do you do when you get an uber fab gift with YOUR face on it…EAT IT! Thanks to S’more Smoochies you can eat yourself and not feel the least bit dirty or wrong. Take a big ol’ bite out of YOU. (www.smoresmoochies.com)
Auntie Anne’s Make Your Own Pretzel Kit:
Do you remember Shrinkie Dinks ™? Well if not, you are wayyyy too young to be forgiven…Annnnnnnnnnnnway move over Holly Hobby Oven, we have pretzels to make. The big ol’ hunka hunka pretzel that is not for the rank amateur. Mix, twist, bake and enjoy (sounds like my last date…) Annnnnny waayyyyyyyyyyy ya gotta try these. The original are fab, but the innamon are fan f!@#$ tastic! (www.auntieannes.com)
Get your holiday Zen On….
I thought I was a die-hard coffee fanatic UNTILLLLLLLLLLLLLL Village Tea Company dared me to try their Cherry Me Bloom tea… I still love my Java, but this tea is what interracial beverage relationships are made of… Try an unlimited number of options at (www.villageteaco.com)
Can food be Zen? – Ah yes! I am in my zone when the celestial calories converge! In the name of NAMAUS bring on the gratitude cookies and the Zen Crunch! (www.zenrabbbitcookies.com) and (www.gratitudecookie.com)
Let’s Get Cookin’
The folks at American Roland Food Corp. have obviously not gotten the message that we are in a recession because the box of goodies they sent was amazing and the DVD – Yes the DVD has made me an honorary global food expert. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways but before I do so let me enjoy some ubbie fab Balsamic Vinegar in a bottle that is a work of art. Bravo “Roland” and might I be in your next DVD! Check out all the products at (www.rolandfood.com)
What do I know about anything pertaining to an extra virgin? A whole lot after my discussion with the folks at Sitia. So get your Greek on! (www.sitiaonline.com)
Crab cakes… and slice of 9 layer cake. These must have been created with me in mind – Heat the oven to 350 degrees and in 15 minutes you are “crabby” (Oh stop you know what I mean.) For an extra treat and with cries of glee from my love handles, coat the crab cakes with mayo and put them in pan… With a quick pop into the oven you are on you way to somethin’ this side of wonderful. (www.kentislandcrabcakes.com)
May I make a Toast?
Take a look at my STNPOEPTTTSBFF (Sexy Take No Prisoners Or Excuses Personal Trainer To The Star Best Friend Forever) Luis Perez (in blue) of the Mega Latin Morning Show Tu Desayuno Alegre… With a Trainer like him I over eat intentionally just so I can see him more often!
The great thing about writing your own Foodie Guide is you can do anything you want! So cheers to JAQK cellars – The Cabernet Sauvignot was a huge hit with Celebrity Trainer to the Stars Luis Perez. I enjoyed the playing cards that came with them since Luis was not sharing the spirits! Craig MacLean, Master Wine Maker is my guru of all things grape o licious. Check out the full line of wines at (www.jaqkcellars.com) Note to all – Playing cards included…Strip poker optional.
From my FBFF (Famous Best Friends Forever) at Kahlua many thanks for a bottle of Coffee Cream that could take down the Incredible Hulk…. Smooooooooooooooooooooooooth (www.Kahlua.com)
Might not think this is a beverage but this rum cake could have been bottled. Someone lit a match after I had a slice and I was a walking flame thrower (hold the flame jokes for someone who cares!) Tortuga Rum Cakes are a Caribbean party for your taste-buds! (www.tortugarums.com)
Randomly Uber Fab:
Who doesn’t like a fortune cookie… But does size matter? According to Edible Gifts it does and my BFF Tori Spelling agrees. How do I know? ‘Cause her damn face is on my cookie!!! Love ya “Tor” and love the cookie… Buy your own personalized yummie at (www.ediblegiftsplus.com). Say hey to Margo and tell her Josh and Tori are secretly having an affair….(NOT!)
Is your drink feeling naked? Dress it damn you and do it with BLINNNNNNNNNNNNNG . My favorite are the edible gold diamonds but the silver glitter kinda gets me all warm and misty! Check them out at (www.dressthedrink.com)
What is a Bodum Frother? Get your Google on or thank me later for telling you! Like your Latte? Like your Frothie Latte? Well think beyond the box or cup for this matter and get a Matcha Bodum Frother and whip it…Whip it, whip it good! (www.matchasource.com) Coupon Code: FIRSTCHA
Pack your culinary bags and stay put in your dining room or kitchen with destination dinners! Everything you ever needed (woodchips included) to experience cuisine from around the world. Personal fave…Jerk Chicken and Shrimp BBQ! (www.destinationdinners.com)
Old is the new…NEW! Little Debbie’s Snack Cakes…Retro never tasted so good! (www.littledebbie.com)
Are you a lover? Are you a breakfast? Are you a lover of breakfasts? Are you a breakfast lover? Are you confused? Then go to java&Co. as fast as you can for some uber-fab gourmet, pick me up, coffee infused syrups. Personal fav: Ti Rum Isu, as well as Java Spice. Loved the cute little drawstring bag it came in. (www.javaandco.com)
Got an obsession with food? No? Liar. The Art of Over Eating…Leslie Landis gave me the top ten reasons why I should be an over eater, and I agree with every single one of them. What’s the author have to say about promoting obesity? “Should anyone take the advise in my book seriously? Only if they want to weigh 900 lbs,”
Note to self: Is there a difference between having an opinion and being opinionated? Hell yes! Am I a blogger, or am I Switzerland? Translation: I am entitled to an opinion. Two thumbs up, one smack of the salivary glands, and a really good flossing. One of my must have, must give, must get gifts for the season: 479 Popcorn. Personal Uber Fav: yes. Commitment to name one: Black Truffle White Chedder… Reason for living: Smoked Sea Salt, Caramel, Coconut Curry Cashew, and Ginger Sesame Caramel. (www.479popcorn.com)
Don’t mean to be CHEESIE…BUT!
Tillamook can cut the cheese in my direction any time they want… These guys are 100 years of uber fab, dairylicious, pass me a slice o’ that stuff. Note to self and the Universe… Smoked Medium Cheddar is this side of heaven and makes a mean mac n’ cheese! (www.Tillamookcheese.com)
For the Traditionalist:
Gingerbread! Yippee what is an uber fab gift guide without one!!!! Ok I admit it, I love biting the heads off… Wonderland Bakery makes one of the best Gingerbread men I have tasted. Buy it, eat it, buy some more! (www.wonderlandbakery.com)
A modern twist on the goodie we love to love… RICE CRISPY TREATS known to the uber elite as Milk and Krunchies… If you have not tasted a Rice Crispy Treat you are an alien so go back to your Mother-ship! Check these out at (www.milkandkrunchies.com)
C is for Cookie:
Note to all one can never have too many cookies and these are just the best of the best!
Is a Biscotti a cookie or a slice heaven? Who cares the folks at Imperial Cookies know what they are doing. The box of goodies the sent, fell on my foot and I am limping… But never mind that, these treats are fierce, fab and ferocious! Personal favorite of Gaby (Asst. to ME!) Ginger Snaps. As for Moi, Biscotti all the way! Check out all the yummies at (www.imperialcookies.etsy.com)
Park 19 Cookies has it going on from packaging to product. Do I have favorite….Yes….That would be everything they sent! Check out the Red Velvet and Pumpkin Cake Cookie for an added treat. (www.park19cookies.com) ENTER COUPON CODE SWEET DAY for a 15% discount code especially created for you!
I believe a brownie is simply a multi-cultural cookie and the folks at Fairytale Brownies have not missed an opportunity. Cream Cheese, Espresso Nib, White Chocolate, Peanut Butter and Raspberry Swirl did me in and added 30 minutes on the treadmill for 2 days! Buy them NOW…Buy them NOWWWW. Lady Chablis, From Midnight In the Garden of Good and Evil (www.Planetchablis.com) enjoyed them with me and is now a big fan! Get your own !@$% at (www.brownies.com)
Chef Joes Cookies – Joe you are my hero! These cookies rock. With celeb friends like you who needs friends… (www.chefjoescookies.com) “No crumbs left behind…”
THEY SAY – “THE BEST 5 layer bars (cookie bars).” And THEY are correct!!! OMG these equal one week on the treadmill and WELLLLLLL worth it!
Candy and Chocolate:
Ego alert! These are in no particular order as they were all amazing!!!!
One would think…that a curry coconut truffle is just wrong.. OH NO! As it is oooh so right. Chef Jean-Michel and his “zesty” wife Jill, bring it! All the way from France. Is trufflilicous a word? It’s my blog, so yes it is. (www.chococalibressan.com)
What no fudge….Oh please!!!!! Check out EVERYTHING from (www.dellsfudge.com) NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! -Note to uber fabs…(Cran nut is Cran O Liscious)
Fantasia Confections knows how to take a man into a sugar coma and do it with style… They have “raised the bar” on indulgence for individuals and businesses with unique offerings and uncompromised customer service. Blah, blah, blah the chocolate apple would make G-d himself listen to the serpent and eat from the damn Tree of Knowledge.
Handmade treats Manhattan Style! Ronnie- Sue does it uber fab with my personal favorite…Down the Hatch! Check out all the goodies at (www.roni-sue.com) as well as( http://regionalbest.com) and (http://roni-suechocolates.regionalbest.com/detail/regional-chocolate-collection/)
Leave it to my BFF John Whaley a former investment banker to develop a personal interest in chocolate. Not sure how he was at investing but this man can work a cocoa bean and the ROI (Return On Investment) is nothing less than pennies from heaven! www.1800chocolate.net
If I were a cake and my cake friends wanted me to order them a cake – THIS is the cake I would order! Note to all – CALL THEM NOW…The Chocolate Cake is beyond words. If you have to give a gift to someone you don’t really like – DON’T send this cake… Visit the folks at (www.wetakethecake.com) and definitely tell them Josh sent ya’
Who said uber yum can’t come in a box…Check out the healthy mixes from Naturally Nora. Yellow cake never tasted so yellow. Nora would love to hear from ya so check her out at (www.naturallynora.com)
More Than Honorable Mention:
The goodies just kept rolling in and all are appreciated and worth mention:
- Tillen Farms – Maraschino Cherries (www.tillienfarms.com)
- Moonstruck Chocolatier – (www.moonstruckchocolate.com)
- Alter Eco – Go green with some good ol’ dark chocolate (www.altereco.com) and track your green thumb at (www.fairtradecertified.org)
- Macrobar (A vegan product) (www.gomacro.com)
- King Arthur Bakery Sticky Buns (www.kingarthurflour.com)
- Plum Orgnanics – Mild Flavors for little palates (www.plumorganics.com)
- Breads and Moore – Peach Cobbler in a jar – (www.breadsandmoore.com)
- Esmeraldas Milk (Chocolate from Ecquador) – (www.originalbeans.com)
- BUILT – My BFF’s Jennifer Garner, Tina Fey and Halle Berry love these gourmet getaway lunch totes (www.builtny.com)
PHASE TWO ON THE WAY!!!!!!!!